Smoking

Q: Why do teenagers start smoking?

-- Anonymous


A: Anonymous,

'Cuz they're stupid.

-Hi


Dear Anonymous,

Excellent question. There are lots and lots of reasons why teenagers may start smoking, so don't think the reasons I give you are the only possible explanations.

One possible reason is curiosity. They also may do it because they've discovered their parents (or others who have told them not to) have been wrong about other things, so they want to prove one more thing their parents are wrong about. It might be simply because their friends starting smoking and they didn't want to feel left out. Someone may have offered them a cigarette and they didn't know how to say no to it. Maybe their parents smoke so they feel it's a "family tradition" or something. Maybe they like the smell. Maybe they want a hobby. Maybe they just feel cool with a cigarette sticking out of their mouth (but I doubt it).

-The Chief


Dear Non the mouse,

Want a list?

1) Curiosity
2) To "fit in"
3) They want to commit gradual suicide
4) They're stupid
5) Their parents do it
6) Their friends do it
7) They don't have the backbone to tell someone "No thanks, I don't smoke"
8) They never decided before they were offered a cigarette that they would never smoke
9) They were abducted by aliens, who muddled their brains
10) Their brains are made of ash
11) It suits their "image"
12) They don't know what they're doing
13) They've been thrown forward hundreds of years into the future, so they're really from before people knew what cigarettes were and therefore don't know any better
14) They like smoke billowing from their nose and mouth - the better for pretending to be a dragon
15) They want to start so they can prove to themselves that if they do, they can quit whenever they want
16) They have too much money and want to waste it on something stupid, and cigarettes was the stupidest thing they could think of
17) They think it's funny setting off smoke alarms by breathing on them
18) It's funny watching little kids edge away from them in fear
19) They want to put everyone off their supper
20) It's something to do with their mouths that takes less effort than chewing gum

-Fiddlesticks the Defenestrator