How To Tell If You're In Love

Q: How would you know if you're in love?

-Schmuel the Tailor


A: Dear Unpronouncable,

No.

-OWA


Dear Shmewl,

I would just ask.

-Liar


My Tailoric Friend,

If you're hopelessly lost, there's a possibility. It's even more likely if you seem to keep forgetting important things. No, wait, that's Alzheimer's....

-Fiddlesticks the Defenestrator


Dear Schmuel,

Let's face the facts here. You are a tailor. You are not likely to really fall in love anytime unless you find a REAL job.

-Apathetic


Dear Jewish friend from Klimavitch,

You seem to have quite a dilemma on your hands if you are asking this question. Being in love means something a bit different for everyone. For some people, usually people who are just new to the experience, they have a twist in their stomach that turns around in surprise every time the lovee enters the room or enters their line of sight. They usually, in most cases, interpret this incorrectly and think they are getting violently ill and remove themselves from the situation as quickly as they can.

In order to continue along this strain, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't bring into account the options from several differing beliefs.

1. In the theology of those who believe that there is exactly one person in the world for any given soul, a person can say, "That person is truly my one and only and therefore my everlasting soul cries out for its eternal companion!" If it is indeed the correct person, the one who has fallen in love first will confirm their beliefs with this original statement and live happily-ever-after. This is not always the case but that is how it pans out in the long run. They usually know that they are in love because they KNOW it. They feel their center of gravity ache to be closer to their eternal companion's. They become hot and bothered when they cannot be near the one they love and get physically ill. If they find that the person they have fallen in love with is indeed NOT their one and only, they grow out of it and live on, searching for the 'one'.

2. There are those who believe that there are many people in your life and you must meet all of them in order to find and know the 'one' that they should be with. There is also a separation here. Some believe that they have to meet many people and get a choice out of the many that 'fate' (or God or gods has set out for them. Yes there are two "GODS" in that statement because there have been articles written by this exact same writer which were mercilessly ripped apart because God 'refers to the Christian God and god refers to all of the other possible deities') brought them together with. Those with this belief usually feel a flutter in their chest that jumps to their throat whenever the person comes near or when the lovee's name is said (the general subject matter pointing at the lovee, actually.)

3. There are still those who have the belief that they have absolutely no choice whatsoever and that 'fate' got you and them together. Love doesn't necessarily matter. Usually 'fate' will slap you on the back and give you a suggestion but otherwise, you may very well just get married. They usually say that the feelings everyone else feels is psychological tripe suggesting that we are all just primates wanting intimate relations before we die. They aren't the best people to be around when you feel like you are in love.

4. Yet still others believe that it is completely up to the one falling in love. I'm not saying that they get to say, "I want to love… HER!" and then they get slapped in the heart in a flurry of exhilaration and joy that only associates itself with her. They are the ones who fall in love with someone and they just love them. They don't like explaining why but most people do anyway. These people make up most of the population in the United States. They say that you know it's love because you can feel it deep in your heart. They just know that it's love because they feel wonderful whenever the lovee comes around. They feel a warm skip in their hearts. This may be slightly different for all people but almost everyone in this category feel a connection, an invisible bond with the person they are in love with. If the feeling is mutual, they both feel the bond.

In my personal experience and my personal beliefs, I am much more like the fourth kind. I feel as though you may or may not find the one you love but when you find them, you will have an attraction that you will know is actual, true love. Once you 'fall in love' with someone and realize it's just lust, you will compare your future relationships to that. A person cannot be completely sure what is love and what is lust unless they have experienced both and gotten one confused it with the other.

Some people also get confused between love and indigestion but usually they are figures in a fiction. Don't think you won't be able to know what real love is. Just try it out. I wish you the best of luck, my Jewish friend. If you want to give more specific feelings that you have toward someone, the answer would be a lot easier for us to identify as love or not.

Lucky Aaron