E-L-L-E ^_^ :D

Q: Dear Board of Omniscience,

Who exactly is this E-L-L-E person and why does s/he seem less than omniscient? Why can't s/he spell? And what's with all the little random symbols? Can you get E-L-L-E to prove that s/he really is omniscient and not just some little kid who whined his/her way on?

Sincerely,
In Doubt


A: Dear Doubt,

A person may be omniscient without the ability to type. Perhaps her fingers are too small or perhaps she uses a stenographer who does not know how to spell or perhaps even those who are omniscient prefer a more youthful voice than their current one to allow for greater universal understanding. Those who are older feel a greater inclination to listen to those who try to express a complex thought with simpler words. Let us assume that E-L-L-E is a girl about six years old. A previous question was answered by E-L-L-E regarding becoming the richest man ever. She took on her father's words of advice and supplemented them with her youthful undertones. She insinuated that even though neither she nor her father were rich, they preferred the company of one another over the monetary gain of cash, stocks, bonds, or real estate. Such wisdom does not often come to mind when a person asks such a question. They neglect the true costs versus the true benefits of becoming the richest man in the world. Do you understand yet? A person coming right out and saying, "We should try to focus on the greater good of growing and producing loving families instead of goods we do not necessarily need" comes off as a peace-loving tree-hugger. Not to say that they are bad but they are less listened to than most other voices. We have omniscient people here on the board who are more than willing to give you those same opinions on love, value, and the sweet feeling of peace that rises in your heart every time you help someone but some questions are better answered with a young voice from a person closer to your mind set. If you don't understand why E-L-L-E writes as she does yet, I suggest you reply to this as quickly as you can so that we can rectify exactly what your problem is as quickly as we possibly can. I apologize for the length of this paragraph but I'm afraid it was best said as such.

Thank you for your question and I hope that absolves you of your qualms.

- E-L-L-E ^_^ :D

PS. The "little random symbols" are facial expressions. ^_^ is a smile O.O is a shocked face >.< is disgusted :D is another smile XD is a laughing smile. Y_Y is a crying face. I hope that makes it all easier for you.

PPS. We DO in fact have stenographers and all spelling errors are to be attributed to them. ^_- (winking face) I am a very slow typist so this letter took an extremely long time to write. I hope it is satisfactory. ^_^

Note frum Sdenograffr: It tuk hr abowt too ouwrs too doo this ledr. I think wee shood give hr ay brake. I am tayking ay speling klas now sow I am soree abowt this fr now. It well get bedr. I promis.