Body Odor

Q: um.. I have body odor. I wash my armpits daily and load on the deodorant but I still STINK! And don't try to suggest some new product- I've tried 'em all! It's affecting my friendships... people don't want to be around me. Come on- I'm clean!! I'm thinking about staying in my house all the time and just sitting in my own stank. What do you think??

-wafing in Quebec


A: Dear Wafing,

Before I begin, I would like to note two things. One, staying in your house wallowing in self-pity because you think you smell is really not a good way to live. Two, if your friends don't like you anymore for a silly little thing like BO (which everyone has), they're probably not very good friends anyway. Now, on to advice.

There are a lot of things that can affect BO, including consumption of meats, onions, garlic, spicy foods, coffee, alcohol, and tobacco products. You might try cutting down on these things and see if that helps at all (try to get a friend or family member to be your judge, since smelling yourself is often inaccurate). Another thing that makes BO worse is stress, although we would probably all get rid of our stress if possible, so I won't bother trying to suggest you cut all the stress out of your life.

One thing you want to do is make sure you scrub your underarms thoroughly and dry them completely after you take a shower and before applying deodorant. Wearing loose clothing, of course helps, because your skin can breathe better and consequently doesn't breed bacteria as well. Natural fabrics, such as wool and cotton, are said to help.

You could try using rubbing alcohol, apple cider vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, or baking soda in place of deodorant. Chewing alfalfa or parsley or other leafy plants is said to help as well, possibly because of the chlorophyll. You could also fill your bathtub with water, add three cups of tomato juice, and soak for fifteen minutes (it works on BO as well as on skunk spray). You could take zinc tablets. I've heard it said that rubbing your underarms with peeled potatoes is helpful, although I'm a bit skeptical about that.

Try some of these ideas, and ask again if there's no improvement in a week or two. Good luck!

-The Chief

Time Management

Q: how do you budget your time? With school, church, extras on the side, and who knows what. How do you manage?


A: Dear Anonymous,

I would recommend doing scheduled things first, like classes and church. Then consider how long extra things will take and how important they are and schedule accordingly.

-The Chief


Dear Person-Who-Never-Uses-Names,

How do I personally manage time? I do whatever sounds fun at the time unless there's something REALLY important I need to do. I tend to work hardest at night and under pressure anyway. It's also fun having friends to help with anything that can be done with a second or third or fourth person.

-Fiddlesticks the Defenestrator

The Berlin Wall

Q: Hello the board,

What's the watered down summary of the Berlin Wall and why it came down and why it was the physical symbol of the end of the Cold War and why was Reagan so flippin' tight w/ Gorbachev if the U.S was anti-Soviet? wow.. what a sentence.

thank you muchly,
Tired of Trying


A: Dear Tired of Trying,

The Berlin Wall was put up to separate the communist side of Germany from the democratic side of Germany. If you recall, right after World War II, Germany was split down the middle into the East and West sides. The Berlin Wall was built, spreading all the way across Germany. The west side was democratic, the east was communist.

As the years passed, the west (democratic) side of Germany got richer and more prosperous, while the communist side got poor. America wanted East Germany to be free and democratic and to prosper like West Germany was doing, but Russia kept saying "No, no, East Germany belongs to us! Leave us alone!"

This continued until 1987, when the US President Ronald Reagan gave a speech (which you can find here if you're interested) where he said, basically, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" and the Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev said "You know what? Okay."

Communism had fallen apart, and there really wasn't any reason for the wall anymore. Furthermore, everyone was tired of the Cold War, and the fall of the Berlin Wall was a symbol of the end, because that was the sign that communism had fallen apart. (Don't forget, the reason for the Cold War was to stop the spread of communism. So when communism fell apart, the war was over.)

As for Reagan and Gorbachev... they got along well because they respected each other, and they recognized each other as honest men. America wasn't anti-Soviet, it was anti-communism. You can respect someone even if you don't agree with what they believe in.

I hope that helps.

-Hakim the Storyteller

Frustration

Q: Hi,

What's the best way to let out frustration?

from,
screaming on the inside


A: Dear Screaming on the Inside,

This is another question that has different solutions for every person. When some people get frustrated, it makes them feel better to do something that uses a lot of energy, like running or screaming or breaking things. Other people would rather do an activity that's relaxing for them, like cooking, drawing, or reading. Still other people like to talk to people or write letters to themselves basically complaining about whatever's frustrating them. I would recommend doing something that's harmless to you or anyone else. I enjoy reading when I'm frustrated because I can get lost in the character's problems instead of my own, which usually helps mine seem less problematic. I have a friend who punches walls when she's frustrated, which is something I wouldn't recommend, because her knuckles are often swollen or bloody and she can hardly move her hand. Another friend of mine just runs as far as possible until she collapses and then she isn't thinking about anything but sleeping, and another friend listens to what he calls "angry music", which calms him down and distracts him from what's bothering him. Some people are lucky enough to be able to calm down simply by breathing deeply and counting. Some people just drive around for a while. You just have to experiment to see what helps you best.

-Hi


Dear Noisemaker Wannabe,

You could try memorizing a poem and reciting it to yourself whenever you're frustrated. You could also draw pictures in crayon, tape them to a wall, and throw wet marshmallows at them.

-Fiddlesticks the Defenestrator

Weight Loss

Q: Dear Board of Omniscience,

What is the best weight loss plan?

-Feelin' Fat in Wisconsin


A: Dear Feelin' Fat,

There really isn't an over-all "best" weight loss plan. Everyone's body is different, so you need to experiment until you find something that suits you. Some people can lose weight by cutting down on the fat they eat, and some people just get grumpy when they try. Some people can lose weight by cutting down on calories, others lose weight by cutting down on carbohydrates, some just cut down on general portion size. Some people are simply born to be fat and there's not a whole lot they can do to get thin (although they can control it to an extent). I would recommend trying every plan (except anorexia and bulimia, which are alternate words for suicide) for two weeks or so until you find the one that works best for you and continue with that one.

-The Chief


Dear Wisconsin Fatty,

You could also try amputating your fat or inhaling helium before you step on the bathroom scale.

-Fiddlesticks the Defenestrator

History

Q: What's the worst thing about US History?


A: Dear I-Forgot-My-Name,

Some of the worst things about US History are 1) the fact that they're so seemingly irrelevant, 2) the heavy load of homework, and 3) the fact that by its very nature, history is something that needs to be memorized, so you either know it or you don't, and you can't get away with not studying. Besides that, it's just boring.

-Fiddlesticks the Defenestrator